25. The prime of your life. A time when you can do just about anything, and get away with it. A time when you are exploring. Exploring jobs, exploring opportunities, exploring fashion, exploring yourself, exploring men. But at 25, men aren't even in the picture. I'm dealing with boys.
My best friend recently visited during a weekend, and like any 25 year old women, we went to a local bar. With nothing but the desire to dance the night away, we found a table and claimed our spot until a better song came on the speakers. Not ten minutes later, we had two guys approaching each of us. It was like out of a movie. Two buddies spot these girls and place bets on who can hook up first. Now, at first glance, these guys were pretty good looking. Smooth talkers, for sure. As the conversation progressed, we finally got to the subject of age. Clearly they were old enough to buy alcohol since they both had beers in their hands (even though they hadn't even offered to buy us a drink.) So the guy next to me announced he was 21 and I gave a polite smile and said, "Cool, I'm 25," all the while thinking, "Great, this is just awesome! Another cute guy who's totally into me but...he's freakin' 21 years old."
Now most girls, and when I say most girls, I mean the girls that are still in college and want to stay in college forever so they don't have to grow up..ever, most girls would love this opportunity. A cute guy approaches them at a bar and totally hit it off. But I'm not one of those girls. Yes, it was flattering but in the last 3 months that I've been 25 years old, I've managed to attract not 1, not 2, but 6 younger guys! All at least 4 years younger than me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, age ain't nothing but a number and it shouldn't matter. But maturity does. In a quick 15 minute conversation with a guy, you can tell immediately if you are dealing with a man or boy. Simply by observing the way he is looking at you, touching you (if at all) and the use of language, you can determine his general maturity level. I admit, I'm not a good judge of age but I feel pretty confident in judging maturity level.
To clarify, I'm not bashing younger guys. These younger guys I've recently met are great guys. Just not the guys for me. This isn't even really about younger guys, boys or men. This is about me and why the hell I keep attracting these younger guys. And why the hell people's jaws keep dropping every time I tell them I'm 25.
I meet a new person nearly everyday with my jobs, and everyday when they ask, "How old are you?" I smile and say, "25." Knowing the next words out of their mouth are usually, "Seriously? You look like you're 18 or 19." When I first started getting this response, which has been a couple years ago now, it really didn't bother me all that much. It was fun surprising people with my actual age. But now that I'm 25, with two college degrees and starting my career, I want people to take me more seriously and look at me like a successful adult. And not just coworkers or customers or clients. I want men to look at me differently. Let me clarify, single, available, cute men to look at me differently. Men. Not boys.
So how do you look your age? I know when I'm 40, I'm going to want to look seven years younger but right now, at 25, I want to look 25. Not 18. What is it about me that make people think I'm 18? My curly hair, the way I wear my makeup, the clothes I wear, or my boobs? Oh I bet I know what it is, the braces. That's right, you read correctly. I'm 25 and I have braces. But even before the braces, I still had people thinking I was 18, so that can't be the only reason. Is it the way I talk, my personality, the way I carry myself? I just don't know but it's frustrating.
I guess I'll just keep on believing that it doesn't matter what other people think. As long as I'm happy and healthy. I'll keep on believing that all it's going to take is one guy to see me for who I am and then none of this "look your age" stuff will matter. I'll keep on believing that one day, it will all just come together. I'll just keep on believing...
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