Wishful Thinking

I wish I wasn’t so forgiving.

I wish I wasn’t so optimistic.

I wish I didn’t care about the opinions of others.

I wish people could see you the way I see you.

I wish you could be the man I know you can be.

I wish you could be the man I want you to be.

To be the man I need you to be.

I wish there was something that annoyed me so badly about you that I couldn’t imagine spending my life with you.

I wish it wasn’t so easy to have fun with you.

I wish you weren’t so sweet.  

I wish my stomach wouldn’t jump when you touch me.

I wish I wasn’t so attached to you.

I wish I could just look in your eyes and that be enough.

I wish I knew the difference between loving you and loving the thought of you.

I wish that memory could be erased.

I wish all those years weren’t just a waste.

That those years weren’t heartbreak after heartbreak.

I wish I could trust you.

Trust that what you say is what you will actually do.

Trust that history won’t repeat itself.

I wish my thoughts wouldn’t be consumed by you.

I wish my head would agree with my heart.

I wish my family and friends could understand my heart.

I wish my head wasn’t so overpowering.

I wish when I meet someone new I don’t immediately compare them to you.

I wish distance would be the solution.

I wish I could let myself feel that way again.

I wish I didn’t have to flaunt our failed relationship in front of you every time we’re together.

I wish I wasn’t a constant reminder of what you screwed up.

Of what we could’ve been.

Of what we could be.

I wish I didn’t have to say no to you.

I wish I could look in your eyes and not see sadness.

Not see regret.

Not see disappointment.

I wish I could help you.

I wish you could truly move on.

And let me go.

I wish you would move mountains to be with me.

I wish you would find another me.

A better me.

I wish I could find another you.

A better you.

I wish you would let me find another you.

I wish I didn’t have to find another you.

 

 

 

 

Oh SHIFT!

It is such a turnoff to me when a guy doesn't use the SHIFT key.

its like he is so damn lazy to reach his little pinky over to use proper grammar punctuation or whatever its called. luckily he knows how to use the period key. that helps. a little. and on top of not using the shift key he wont spell out the word you but uses u instead. really?

Maybe I should've made myself a little more clear in my profile.

I don't date guys who don't use the SHIFT key.

(This also applies to text messages. I don't care if it's common text protocol or whatever to keep everything lower case and no punctuation, it makes you sound like an idiot.*)

*My mother is an exception. She is not an idiot and can text however she wants.

No smile, no chance

I'm going to make this post short and sweet.

If not one of your profile pictures has you smiling then you don't stand a chance with me. And most likely any woman. I can't speak for all women but do your research and you'll find we value a sense of humor in men. When all your posted pictures are close-mouthed, it tells me that you are either a stick in the mud or hiding a seriously jacked up set of teeth.

Either way, I'm out. NEXT!

Ballsy

Whoa. What a hiatus I’ve been on from this blog. Yowzas.

So clearly, I’m not 26 anymore. L

Turns out, I’m 28.

I’m also employed. (Finally. Thank God.)

But still single.

While I could ramble on about the last two years and how so much has happened I’m going to save you the time since most of you reading this lived through it with me. And I thank you tremendously for that.

Anyway, a new development is happening that I have yet to announce to anyone. And it’s a big one so bear down.

I recently made the decision to participate in online dating. Dun dun duuuunnnn.

Yup. It’s happening, folks.

It’s a debate in my head that has been brewing for years but I’ve never been in the financial situation to support such a luxury expense.  Until now. (Don’t for a second think I’m here rolling in the dough cause I’m far from it.)

I’m picking back up this blogging thing to entertain you with my online dating experience because it is sure to amuse the few readers who may come across it as it has done in the past. Like the one about my boobs. Ha. That was a good one.

So here we go!

I fully expect a sarcastic beat down from some of you about this decision but I like to think behind that sarcasm curtain you hold up is curiosity, timidity and fear. At least I’m strong enough to put myself out there with this. So feel free to live vicariously through me and maybe learn a thing or two, possibly about yourself.