Wishful Thinking

I wish I wasn’t so forgiving.

I wish I wasn’t so optimistic.

I wish I didn’t care about the opinions of others.

I wish people could see you the way I see you.

I wish you could be the man I know you can be.

I wish you could be the man I want you to be.

To be the man I need you to be.

I wish there was something that annoyed me so badly about you that I couldn’t imagine spending my life with you.

I wish it wasn’t so easy to have fun with you.

I wish you weren’t so sweet.  

I wish my stomach wouldn’t jump when you touch me.

I wish I wasn’t so attached to you.

I wish I could just look in your eyes and that be enough.

I wish I knew the difference between loving you and loving the thought of you.

I wish that memory could be erased.

I wish all those years weren’t just a waste.

That those years weren’t heartbreak after heartbreak.

I wish I could trust you.

Trust that what you say is what you will actually do.

Trust that history won’t repeat itself.

I wish my thoughts wouldn’t be consumed by you.

I wish my head would agree with my heart.

I wish my family and friends could understand my heart.

I wish my head wasn’t so overpowering.

I wish when I meet someone new I don’t immediately compare them to you.

I wish distance would be the solution.

I wish I could let myself feel that way again.

I wish I didn’t have to flaunt our failed relationship in front of you every time we’re together.

I wish I wasn’t a constant reminder of what you screwed up.

Of what we could’ve been.

Of what we could be.

I wish I didn’t have to say no to you.

I wish I could look in your eyes and not see sadness.

Not see regret.

Not see disappointment.

I wish I could help you.

I wish you could truly move on.

And let me go.

I wish you would move mountains to be with me.

I wish you would find another me.

A better me.

I wish I could find another you.

A better you.

I wish you would let me find another you.

I wish I didn’t have to find another you.