Nothing like running into an old crush and getting all excited to possibly spark a connection finally then four brief seconds later, his new fiance walks around the corner. What a slap of reality right across your cheekbone! "Yeah girl, you're 26, you're single, you're social life sucks, you're dating life sucks (more like nonexistant), you work as a cashier in a department store AND you have awesome braces!" No surprise that immediately following work, I followed one glass of wine with another glass of wine. And that...was just Monday.
Tuesday evening included another two glasses of wine and an awkward yet overdue conversation with a certain someone. Without disclosing too much information to my audience, I was finally honest with myself and to that person. Although, admittedly, my indecisiveness caused some extreme frustration for both parties. What's it going to take to just make a decision and stick to it?! My head says one thing but my heart says another.
It's like that one favorite pair of jeans you had in high school. You wore the hell out of those jeans. They fit you so perfectly. Then one day, the crotch tears cause you've worn it so thin that it couldn't hold together anymore. But you still wear them just being careful not to bend over to show your peek-a-choo. You take them to college and continue to wear them but then while you're chasing down a pong ball, whoops, the crotch tear has now gone all the way up to the back pocket. Your head says it's time to get rid of them but your heart wants to hold on to them, somehow hoping they will miraculously mend themselves back together cause you can't bear to part with them forever. What's a girl to do? You've parted so easily with all the other flare bottom jeans and khaki pants in your life, why is it so hard to part with this one pair?
Such miniscule matters of life.
I needed some serious readjustment of my thoughts.
You need help putting things in perspective? Go to the middle of big field, lay on your back and just look up. You will soon realize just how truly small you are in this huge world. And all the petty worries you feel will just float up to the clouds. Best stress reliever has to be just getting in touch with God's world. Sit outside and just listen to the sounds He has created. Admire the work He has done around you. Believe that He will deliver you from the stresses in your life, like He always has.
Everyone is allowed days when you feel weak and broken and lonely and lost. As long as you realize the sun will shine tomorrow. The dark days won't last forever. There is a light shining at the end of this tunnel. (Wouldn't be right if i didn't conclude with a collection of cliches, right? But there is truth in each of them and you know it. Deal with it.)
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